31st December 2017

Not sure I should have been worrying so much about the impact potentially being a part time Dad would have on my ex. My New Years Eve parting comment from him was he wishes it had never happened.

It being Eggy the Embryo growing nicely in my uterus.

That will be 3 put of 3 men I have fallen pregnant by completely letting the male race down then!

Apparently I’m tired, sick, emotional, dizzy and keep saying I’m scared I’ll lose it. Funny that. I think that’s called pregnancy.

He looked at me with contempt and threw at me ‘You said you couldn’t have kids anyway!’. Nope. I have never said that. I have said I have tried AI and have struggled to conceive.

There is no empathy or understanding for what is going on in my body at the moment. He really is a disgustingly selfish human being. All it does is put me off and off. I would rather do this on my own than with someone that chops and changes when they feel like it. Especially as the only reason he is in my home is my guilt at him potentially being a part time Dad!

What I am amazed at, is that my bipolar is pretty stable. I haven’t had any dark moments, except for ones justified by a situation or circumstance. It makes me believe I can actually do this. I can do it on my own and I can do it successfully. 

The best part about all this however…. when I wake in the morning it is a whole new year. It is up to ME what direction to take my future and my happiness.

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One thought on “31st December 2017

  1. Heart goes out to u…and fuck men…oopppps I am one…but be u…hope he comes around…if not…his loss…emotions are worn on the sleeve for those that have any…and that’s what u deserve…wishing the best for u…hearts with u…happy new years year…

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